Sometimes you walk by the glass windows on the street
You avert your eyes
Because you might meet your own eyes
Your reflection staring back at you
Sometimes you don’t like what you see
Because it wasn’t good enough
Not for the one you called love
Once upon a time
A time not so long ago
How many times did you prowl the internet
How many articles did you read
Words to teach you how to fix yourself
How to be loveable
Did you realize you were doing it?
Trying to learn to be loved?
Hoping they’d see you even when you were right in front of them?
When did it start to kill you
How long did it take you to realize you were just a shell
Hollowed out
Because you gave, and gave and gave
And the one you called love?
All they did was take, and take and take
And then ask for more
When did you realize they did not even see it when you gave?
But you were happy to give
After all what is love about, right?
When did you realize you’d turned into a beggar?
You know that saying about beggars and choosing
Most got it wrong
You see beggars cannot even ask
Not when it comes to love
Did your silent pleas for love get loud at night?
And the one you called love, when they gave, it was the opposite of what you wanted
How many times did your heart break?
When did you decide it was useless bringing it up?
Love
When did it become a myth when you were supposed to be in love
When did the hurtful things they said stop being shadows but echoes in your head?
How many times did you want to wipe the slate?
But the apologies never came
When did you decide it was alright to stop trying to carry the blame and be the blame
It was what the one you called love wanted
So you became the blame
Strike a match to the gasoline cremate that “love”
How’s that for gaslighting
Soot, ashes
That’s all that is left
Now you smile at glass
The person looking back in the mirror
You like that person
And suddenly there’s voices from the ashes, whispers from the one you called love
Pleas for Second chances
A plea to love you better this time
You look back in the glass
Why couldn’t they love you the first time?
You step over the embers
There will be no phoenix rising from the ashes
It is not that kind of story