I share the room with my big sister. She is a year and nine months older than me. That’s not a lot but it has always seemed so to me. She knows everything. She doesn’t even pee the bed.
I still pee on bed sometimes. I hate it, my sister is only a class ahead of me and she doesn’t pee the bed. I try not to drink anything at night but sometimes I forget. I forget and then I try to pee before bed but that never works.
I don’t like to wake up at night. I don’t like to wake up because of the window. My bed is closest to the window.
Usually, it’s dreams. I dream that I can’t hold it in anymore but I don’t pee myself. Not in the dream. I run to the bathroom and I make it. The dreams are so real I actually believe I made it. And then I pee.
But that’s when I wake up. But then it is too late and the bed is wet. I try to find a dry spot but the pee usually gets almost everywhere. I can swear it was not that much when I was peeing.
I don’t worry about the pee for long. The window, it’s always there. I know what is coming. The sound like little scratches. They usually start at the top. Stopping suddenly. Then different sounds, like fingers rubbing on glass.
I fear to call out to my sister. I imagine the cold fingers will reach out through the glass if I make a sound.
Silence, so much silence because I am also trying not to breathe. I can feel the presence outside the window. We are both waiting.
I want to cover my face but I imagine then they will be standing over me.
Silence, until it starts again. Little scratching noises on the wood of my bed. A weight on the edge of my mattress.
I hold my breath.