I like to think about them
When I’m really sad
The worse things
It doesn’t really make me less sad
I guess I just wish to feel a different kind of sad
Worse things
Maybe I’d find myself in the middle of a swamp
There’s this really large swamp
The bus goes by on my way back home
I imagine I’m stranded in the thick of it
I always wonder what wild things live there
But it’s not them I think of
I don’t think about wild things when I’m thinking of my worse things
I think about being stuck there
Right in the middle
Unable to move
But that’s not the worst part
It’s the dark
So much of it I can’t hear the crickets
A silent darkness
And sometimes they are sinister
The worse things
I have this thing with heights
I look down the railing on every balcony
Not for the view
No, it’s never my first thought
I think, imagine if I fell
And in my worse things
It always plays out in my head
I lean forward on the bannister and it just falls away
I sit still as my heart does that constriction
The one you feel when you see someone bungee jumping
They do nothing for me
The worse things
Still I think about them
But I don’t forget my sad